‘I hated having my maternity nurse at home’

When Jonna came home after a successful pregnancy and a pleasant birth in the hospital to start the maternity week, she met her maternity nurse. They turned out not to be a good match and so she couldn’t enjoy her maternity week as much as she had hoped. “She didn’t do anything on her own and was mainly busy with her phone.”

Jonna (33): “Do you know how I imagined my maternity week? Enjoying my newborn baby on the bed, in our bubble and not having to think about anything else for a while. How did my maternity week really go? Exactly the opposite…”

maternity week

“I met my maternity nurse on the first day we came out of the hospital with our daughter. An hour or two later she showed up at the door, introduced herself and asked us what we expected from her. I said that most of all we wanted peace and quiet and that we wanted to enjoy our daughter. Not very demanding, I think.

She did her checks on me and my daughter that day, explained a bit about the feedings and the night and then disappeared from my bedroom to clean the bathroom. What she did after that… I have no idea. After a few hours she came to say hello, she hadn’t been to see me once, and then she went home.

I know there was still a mountain, because I gave birth a little earlier than my due date and was still folding, washing and tidying up the clean laundry until the last minute. I couldn’t finish that because the baby was in a hurry. So I asked my husband if everything was still there and sure enough, nothing had happened in the laundry room. I asked him if he had seen what else she had been up to that afternoon. He said she had been sitting at the dining room table with tea and her phone… That was not how I imagined my maternity nurse.

She got annoyed and went downstairs. I hadn’t even had breakfast yet

The next morning she came to ask how the night had gone. Calm down, I said. Our daughter drank her bottles nicely and slept through between feedings. She did her checks and asked me where she could find my daughter’s diapers. ‘In the dresser’, I answered, somewhat surprised, because I couldn’t understand why she asked (I had just changed my daughter’s clothes in front of her). But no, she wanted the used diapers, because she had to check them to see if our daughter had peed enough. She had not told this at all the day before, so we had already thrown it in the container outside. She got a little annoyed about that and I said I’d keep them for her that night.

Then she went downstairs and I was left a little confused. I gave my baby a feed and in the meantime I was very hungry, I hadn’t had breakfast yet. I texted my husband who was downstairs and asked if he wanted to bring something. He did and he said the maternity nurse was downstairs on her phone again… We weren’t sure how to handle the situation, but decided to just ask her to do some laundry. Luckily she did, but then she sat down again.

I hadn’t even showered yet, so my husband came over to help me with that while our daughter was asleep. When she came back to me after a few hours (!) I asked her if she wanted to clean the bathroom with toilet. But no, that was already done yesterday and really not necessary now. Changing the bed? She didn’t think that was necessary either. All she wanted to do was vacuum.

Crying, I yelled at the maternity nurse that I hated her

After another two such days, I called maternity care and explained the situation. I sat on the phone crying and shouted that I hated her and didn’t want her in my house anymore. Quite unkind and I would never say that again, but it must have been the hormones… Fortunately I was helped well there and they sent someone else the last few days. What a wonderful woman she was!

The first thing she did when she came in was make me breakfast with coffee. She took over my daughter so I could shower and wash my hair in peace. When I was done with that I could lie in a clean bed with my daughter. I could cry with happiness and thoroughly enjoyed the last few days of my maternity week. I now understand that you need to click with your maternity nurse. This will not happen to me next time, because then I will immediately be on the phone with the maternity care.”

8 things you can simply (unabashedly) ask your maternity nurse