Five years ago, Suus started a relationship with Rolf. A man after her own heart. Like Suus, he loved doing things alone or with friends and not always being together. Suus has now changed her opinion on this: “I would like to do more with Rolf. I have now even reached a point where I feel lonely in my relationship,” she says bedrock.
“Rolf and I got to know each other through a former colleague of mine. I soon noticed that he the same interests had as me. We did fun things together, but also separately. For example, I often went out for a bite to eat with friends, did fun things with colleagues or spontaneously visited my family. I saw Rolf maybe only two nights or days a week.
Now I’m not so happy with the situation anymore. Many friends have become mothers and moved out of town and have less time for me. The company I work for has also switched to working from home. As a result, I only have online contact with my colleagues. Having a nice drink after work is no longer an option, unless we really agree in advance. Because my life is changing, I notice that I am ready for a different form of relationship.
Conversation with Rolf
I indicated to Rolf a while ago that I would like to see him more often, do more fun things together and even suggested that we move in together. He immediately said he didn’t like it. He says he is one free spirit who needs a lot of freedom. I know that too, but my apartment is big enough not to be on each other’s lips. Then at least we can eat together and visit each other when we need it. I’m sorry he doesn’t want that.
Lonely in relationship
Since then I’ve started to doubt our relationship. For example, I would like to do more with Rolf. I’ve even gotten to a point where I feel lonely in my relationship and I don’t think that’s the intention. I would like a go one step further, being together and doing more fun things, but he doesn’t seem to feel the need for that at all. Now I have agreed with myself to have another serious conversation with him within a month. If he doesn’t change his mind then I’ll have to let him go.”
Why loneliness is actually a positive signal
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