Whether you just broke up or were in a relationship years ago: it’s always a bit awkward to bump into your ex. Very understandable if you have no idea how to give yourself the best attitude at such a moment. Relationship coach Georgia Grace share how best to deal with this.
Flight or freeze
Whether you run into your ex unexpectedly on the street, or you know you’re going to see him at a mutual friend’s party, bumping into your ex is always uncomfortable. “It is likely that your body will go into a survival mode. The so-called flight or freeze“, explains Grace Body and Soul. “So take a deep breath first.” If you can, step outside or to a bathroom to calm your nervous system. Breathing exercises can be very helpful in reducing stress. Have you recovered from the shock? Then it’s up to you to decide how to handle the situation.
“If the relationship ended badly, you have absolutely no obligation to say hello to them,” says Grace. For example, Dai applies to exes you just don’t get along with, or exes who treated you badly and were mean, cruel, or abusive. “This person is no longer in your life, and sometimes hanging out with them can do more harm than good,” said the relationship coach.
“If you literally bump into your ex, remember you don’t owe them anything,” emphasizes Grace, who says that even if you feel like you need to say hello, “you don’t have to stay very long.”
Think about yourself
If you run into an ex and he turns out to have a new partner, it will undoubtedly hurt you for a while – even if you are the one who broke up the relationship. “This is someone who was part of your life, someone who was your person, and now they’re someone else’s person,” Grace explains. “So again, ask yourself: does it feel essential or necessary to go say hello to them?” According to Grace, there is an expectation that we “the bigger personshould be when it comes to our exes. However, she disagrees and thinks you shouldn’t put yourself in an uncomfortable situation unnecessarily for the sake of politeness. “Sometimes it’s better to just smile and wave and get on with your day.”
Running into an ex will spark feelings, no matter how long it’s been or how well you broke up. Don’t feel guilty if you have a current partner and feel emotional after running into an ex, and don’t brush aside any hurt that comes up. The main thing is not to be ashamed of an emotional reaction. Running into an ex is never easy – so be kind to yourself as you work through this.
Source: Body and Soul | Image: Adobe Stock